male: I’m so grateful for her choice

I was 22 and I got what I thought was a one night stand pregnant. I thought she was taking the piss when she texted me that we needed to talk, I was away for the week so I said to just phone me if it was urgent. I thought maybe chlamydia possibly gonorrhoea but I never imagined she was pregnant and I’m not proud of the way I reacted. 

I accused her of having lied about contraception, that she was doing this to trap me and before I could get out another awful sentence she just said the word abortion. I hadn’t even thought of that option, not because I’m against it at all, my older sister had one a few years earlier. All the anger flushed out of me at this word and I got really teary, I started laying on the apology think and fast. She joked “why on earth would I want to trap you.” 

We spoke on the phone for a while, I said I’d support her in whatever way she wanted to do this. We’d known each other for maybe 2 weeks and actually been in each other presence awake for 5 hours. She explained about the appointment system and that her housemate would be taking her as she wanted someone she knew. 

I phoned by sister right after being on the phone with her. I cried my eyes out and I’m still not sure on why. I felt awful for my sister that she’d dealt with this herself a few years before, awful for the girl who has to go through this and awful for myself, well just because. 

My sister told me to give her number to the girl if she needed advice or to talk about it which I did, I think they messaged a few times until the day she had the abortion. I asked her to message me throughout the day, only if she wanted to or felt up to it. I didn’t know how to treat her, I didn’t know her or what she liked. Luckily I did know where she lived (I’m not a stalker I promise.) I left her alone on the day of the appointment as I’m sure she didn’t want an audience but the next day I texted her and asked if she was alright and how she felt. She said she was just going to lay in bed all day as she was still sore. I thought now is the time to really be a man about this. I knew she must have been through a lot, my sister explained the pain, bleeding and emotional stress you go through. I turned up with a pretty decent array of snacks, your classics ice cream, chocolate, crips and hummus. She burst into tears when I walked through the door and then we both just sat on her bed crying for 10 minuets. I stayed, we watched some shit (her choice) films and I stayed for 2 days and then I carried on staying ever since. 

We’ve been together for 9 years now and we’ve got a set of twins running around our legs constantly. I’m so grateful for her choice, I’m glad we got to plan and be ready for our babies and we got to get to know each other love each other before bringing life into this world. I’m glad I’ve got her.