my abortion could mean I’m now infertile do I regret it?

In short - no.

After spending some time with other girls who’ve had abortion I’ve learnt how truly bizarre and fucked up mine was. Definitely not the norm. I keep wanting to talk about how bad my abortion was not to scare people out of having one, but even after how atrocious mine was, I don’t regret anything, and would do it all again if I needed to.

The only thing I regret from my abortion was not pushing for myself to be looked after better by the hospital I was at. They did a lot of great work with me (NHS in general has saved my anxiety induced hypochondria multiple times) and looked after me incredibly well, but there were things they weren’t listening to me about, they thought their expertise was more valid than what I was telling them was happening to me.

I got pregnant on New Years Eve. I then went on holiday with my family for a week, when I found out I was pregnant the hospital was insistent that I got pregnant on 7/8th of January. I know the rule of sperm being able to live inside you for 5 days, but even if this had happened to me the dates were still wrong. With the hospital going by the date of 7th of January when I finally had the abortion I was only a week under the limit of being able to have a medical abortion, which meant by my record of getting pregnant I was over the limit.

In my abortion I saw a full fetus come out of me, which after speaking to other people is not normal for medical terminations. When I went home they said I should bleed for around 2 weeks, at the 2 week point I was still bleeding heavily and passing huge blood clots.

Went back to the doctors, they said leave it another week.
Went back a week after, “You have an infection, heres some antibiotics should be fine in a week”
Back the week after, still bleeding “give it another 2 weeks” and it carried on like that.
Finally in May, 3 months after my first abortion I was given an ultrasound that said the abortion hadn’t worked properly and now I would need to have a surgical abortion - double abortion lucky me! The amount of tissue that was still in my uterus meant they classified me as still pregnant. The infection they had mentioned before had been there since the beginning and was still there 3 months later. An infection they told me could lead to me not being able to carry children in the future.

“We can test to see if this has happened… but only when you’re trying for children in a few years time.”
I knew when I was bleeding that something wasn’t right, I knew I should have pushed the doctors and said they needed to examine me earlier because now it could be too late, and I won’t know until I’m trying for kids and will have to experience heartache when or if I’m told I can’t carry them.

It’s the same reason I think I got pregnant - not pushing for the pill that I wanted and saying yes to the cheaper version. Knowing something wasn’t right with my bleeding but just accepting it. Push for your body and what you want for it, trust when you think something isn’t right.

Even after the complete fuck up of my abortion[s] if my choices really were to carry my own and have it at 19 or maybe having to struggle when I’m ready for it then I’d pick the latter every time.

If anyone out there could test me to see if I can have kids lemme know, could be a great next article.