the process of a medical abortion at 12 weeks

I'm not a doctor, this was also over 2 years ago, I might get some medical information wrong, pls go talk to a doctor if you want real expert medical advise.

When I decided between having a medical termination or a surgical my choice took me around an hour, I went back and forth between the idea of simply going to sleep and it being done, and my hypochondria of being put under anaesthetic and not waking up.

In the end my hypochondria won, I didn't want to be put under and felt it wasn't described as too bad when discussing the option of staying awake. OoOH man was I wrong. I don’t want to scare people who might be going for this option but nobody I knew had dealt with this before and I wish I had been more prepared.

1 or 2 days before my full day appointment I went to see the nurse who gave me the initial pill, myself and my friend went I took the pill and got on a bus home. This pill begins the process of separating the foetus away from my womb. This pill made me feel sick about an hour later where I couldn’t sit on a bus without throwing up in my mouth so attempted to walk for an hour before the cramps hit me.

I arrived at the hospital with my (now ex) boyfriend at 11am and began the process at around 1pm, I had tablets inserted into my vagina (misoprostol) to make my womb contract, and then I was given tablets to take orally (mifepristone) to bring about the abortion, along with painkillers, anti sickness tablets and injections throughout the day. 

In my film Choice: My Abortion, I briefly describe the side affects these tablets the sickness and cramps, but these were the worst hours of my life; both mentally and physically. I felt nauseous the entire day, the only relief from this were the minuets after I had thrown up until the nauseous feeling returned. For me personally the cramps along the front of my stomach were not too bad, through the taking of pain killers, but the pain I had along my back was unbearable, I was writhing around in pain, hot, sweaty and bleeding through the nappy I was wearing onto the hospital plastic mattress. Passing blood clots is a feeling I could not get used to even after 5 weeks of it happening to me (this isn't normal, please watch the film to understand) so going to the toilet to pass blood clots and a foetus and then the placenta always into a cardboard bowl was an extremely uncomfortable 8 hours. 

Mentally I hit my low point 4 hours after the foetus had passed. I wasn't pregnant anymore but I still wasn't done, waiting for placenta to come out was infuriating. I could no longer walk around due to the cramps and back pain, so I was tired in bed crying, quite literally in a puddle of my blood. This was when I needed my Mom. Phoning my Mom and crying down the phone that I couldn't do it anymore is a feeling and a memory that stands out most to me from that day, even as a 19 year old who had moved almost 100 miles away for university, all I wanted was my Mom. My boyfriend tried to be supportive but he was only young too, scared and didn't know what was happening to me. If you're having a medical termination take somebody you feel completely secure around, they will see you in the worst states (I almost shit myself at one point so they've gotta be down for holding your hand even through that mess.) I wish I had taken someone who wasn’t my boyfriend, but our relationship was a mess before this and this was just the final nail in the coffin.

Once they thought everything was out I was allowed to go home, the cramps did stop almost immediately, but I just felt shit, the most shit I could possibly feel. I hadn't kept food down for hours, I'd been piled up with pills and just wanted to cry and sleep, which is exactly what I did for about a week when I got picked up the next day by my Mom to be properly cared for in a clean warm house, not the squatters excuse for a house that my boyfriend lived in.

Medical termination is physically and mentally exhausting, surgical for me wasn’t as harmful to my mental state. If I was ever unlucky enough to get pregnant when I didn’t want it I would go for the surgery. (I’m gonna hope that doesn’t happen but with my luck who knows)