my abortion

The full story of my abortion.

I got pregnant on New Years Eve 2016. It was with my boyfriend, I’d been on the pill for 4 years by this point and 2 months before getting pregnant my GP put me onto a cheaper version of the pill I’d been on. 

I found out I was pregnant in the hospital, I’d gone in after being on the phone to 111 about really bad stomach pains and they booked me in to see an out of hours GP. By the time I was there the pains had stopped, I was tired and just wanted to leave but I thought I’ll stick it out while I’m here. The GP examined me, felt my stomach and decided it was just a bad bout of IBS. As I was about to leave he said “Oh because you’re a woman with stomach pains we’ll do a pregnancy test.” Nothing too suspicious here, I always get them when I go to the GP, just peace of mind. 

He dipped a pregnancy test into my gar of wee, he dipped another and then says he’s going to get my boyfriend from the waiting room. I know what’s going on now, he comes back with my very confused looking boyfriend and says he’ll do a third test. 

“Its positive! Congratulations!” (March 4th)

Congratulations, are you taking the piss? Look at these two 19 year olds and really think if this is happy news. Now because of my stomach pains I have to be examined to see if its ectopic. Blood tests, more examinations and booked in for a scan. I don’t really have time to think about what’s going on, I remember sitting in the waiting room watching the episode of Benidorm where they find out the daughters pregnant. 

We go home, I cry, my boyfriend asks me what I’m thinking and abortion just comes straight out my mouth, it was never a thought, I was 19. I’m in my second year of university, me and my boyfriend do not have a good relationship and I don’t want to be pregnant. I call my friends cry some more and just wait for the scan day. The ultrasonographer knows that I’m getting an abortion by this point, so she asks if I would like to see the scan and hear it. I do, I think I have to, I need to know what’s going on inside me, I need to know I’m 100% about making this decision. I hear it, I see it I cry my eyes out and I want an abortion. 

After confirming this with my doctor they then book me in for the first appointment to start the process in 2 weeks time. I’ve opted for a medical abortion (I have a fear of being put to sleep) to read about the full process of a medical abortion please click here.  It’s painful, it’s messy, its emotional, I’m being sick every half hour and no amount of pain killers are helping me. This goes on for 7 hours. It is without a doubt the worst day of my life, but when its over I think that’s it! I’m finished I can move on now.  (March 17th)

Not quite, because why would anything ever be easy? I’m bleeding very heavily for 2 weeks, by the 2 week point you’re meant to have stopped. 

“Give it another week” the gynaecology ward. 

“Maybe you’ve just got your period? Give it another week”

“You’ve got an infection, take antibiotics you’ll be fine in a week” 

I’m still bleeding, no doctor is listening to me say that something isn’t right. Finally in May I get examined again and they tell me that the amount of tissue left in my womb means that I’m still classed as pregnant. I have to have another abortion, this time I opt for surgical! Might as well get a well-rounded experience.  (May 20th)

I wake up from the 2nd abortion and the first thing I ask is “Is it done? Did they get it all?” Finally 5 months after getting pregnant I’m back to normal. I go back to university, I break up with the boyfriend who turned up drunk to the abortion and then slept with another girl. I make the documentary about my abortion and graduate with a first. I move on, I write and talk about my abortion to the point where there is no emotion attached to it anymore. I love my abortion, it made me who I am and I’m so grateful.